Dear Alan Rickman,
I… love you.
In fact, I have labeled all of my food in my refrigerator, “Alan Rickman.”
If you would like me to continue this, please call me. ASAP.
But just leave me a message, because I don’t answer from any number I don’t know. So leave me a message, and I’ll call you back to discuss other labeling possibilities.
P.S. I falsely signed your name next to mine on a wedding reception guest book. I know it was wrong, but I couldn’t help wanting my name to be seen next to yours.
P.P.S. You are much better than Tom Clancy.
P.P.P.S. I would never use your name in replacement of a swear word....
unless it’s positive.
If you would like to learn more about Alan Rickman, please visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Severus_Snape